Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Breakup Survival

Sometimes break ups are welcome. But when they're not, it can definitely feel like the end of the world. Whatever the reason for the split, the breakup of a long-term, committed relationship can trigger lots of painful feelings and mixed emotions. Although it may seem impossible, there are some things you can do to get through this difficult time.

When your relationship falls apart, it presents an opportunity to look and see what things happened. You’ll need to be honest with yourself as you begin the healing process after a breakup, examine where you went wrong and think about how you can make better choices the next time around. This opportunity also gives you the chance to look at the ways in which the relationship was holding you back, how you contributed to the problems of the relationship and whether you tend to repeat the same mistakes or choose the wrong women in relationship after relationship.

After a breakup, don't underestimate the importance of taking the time to get to know yourself. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger and resentment will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward after a breakup. You can help yourself heal while dealing with a breakup by scheduling daily time for activities you find calming and soothing. Instead of having a pity party, see your period of healing after a breakup as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, how to recognize bad relationship signs, how you relate to others, and the problems you need to work on.

Although your routine, home and relationships with extended family and friends may be disrupted after a breakup, try not to beat yourself up over your mistakes. It’s normal to want to talk with your family and friends about what happened, and sharing your feelings with them can actually help you get through this period of grief. Surrounding yourself with loved ones who value you for who you are and knowing that others are aware of your feelings will make you feel less alone with your pain and rebuild your self-esteem. As you share your issues with people who genuinely care about you, ask them to really listen to you and be willing to accept any advice from them that will help you in your future relationships.

Remember, a breakup is a beginning as well as an end. Take the opportunity after a breakup to explore new interests and activities as you begin looking forward to finding the woman of your dreams. Make the choice to move on and find happiness, and you will.

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