Dating After Divorce

After years of being married, putting yourself back in the singles market can be scary, especially if you had little previous dating experience or if the divorce was particularly traumatic. Between kids, potential step-relations, money issues and exes, dating after divorce can be a tricky and stressful endeavor. So if you're a newly single man who is considering dating again, here are a few important guidelines you should follow in order to make an easier transition back into the world of dating.

After being married for an extended period of time, the most important aspect at this point is to reevaluate your thoughts and feelings, not rush into anything and don't let others push you into dating prematurely. Some people take longer than others to move on, so if you feel shaky and fragile, or if there are still bitter feelings from the divorce, you may need to give yourself more time before getting out and dating again.

You have likely lost track of your single self, neglected old friendships, dropped out of your old Monday-night bowling league, let your physical health go, or even completely forgotten about your favorite hobbies. Now is the time to reconnect with your individual self, start watching what you eat, doing "guy" things with friends and buying yourself some flattering new clothes that make you look and feel good.

Once you feel somewhat confident in going out and dating again after the divorce, you should take some time to think through what kind of women you would like to attract and then put yourself in a position to meet them. The last thing you want is to go out and find a carbon copy of your ex-wife and make the same mistake all over again. By the same token, don't make it a point to find someone who's the exact opposite either. Take advantage of the many opportunities to meet new women at places like church groups, gyms or local social clubs to get your feet wet.

When you officially get back in the dating game, be respectful of your own needs and proud of what you have to offer in a relationship. Embrace all the lessons from your failed marriage so that you can go out and find what you really want. Don’t let post-divorce loneliness or insecurity make you lower your expectations because not only will dating unsuitable women make you feel poorly, it will also model a very negative relationship for your children if you have any.

There is not as much of a social stigma as there once was and there really is no need to hide the fact that you have are divorced, so be honest about your history whenever you're out on a date. Keep the conversation positive and upbeat without sharing too much and avoid discussing your ex even if your date demonstrates great concern and curiosity about what you might have been through.

It’s OK to briefly mention the basic circumstances of your divorce; however, telling your dates about how your dirty skank of an ex cheated on you or how she did you wrong will make you come off sounding bitter and vengeful--not exactly traits women are looking for in a man! Furthermore, NEVER compare any women you meet to your ex-wife as that may signal that you haven't moved on and are not yet ready for a new woman in your life.

Trying to rush into a new long term relationship is one of the biggest dating mistakes men make after their marriage does not work out. You don't want to rush things, so take your time, get some experience under your belt and really discover whom you want to be with and what you really want in a relationship.

Top 10: Female Turn Offs

Every time you approach a new woman you’re risking rejection, which can feel awful. But if you’re finding that you’re constantly striking out with the ladies, you may be doing things that turn women off without even realizing it. Below are 10 things you could be doing right now that make women cringe.


1. Wearing too much cologne
While a nice-smelling cologne, after-shave or deodorant can be very sexy and really entice a female, too much of a good thing can spell disaster.


2. Being preoccupied with sex
Men who are preoccupied with sex are a huge turnoff because women want to be valued for things other than their bodies. Women do not want to feel as though sex is all that men want from them, and they definitely aren't impressed by how many other women you've slept with, or how much your last girlfriend liked your techniques.

3. Displaying poor grooming habits

Women are not generally attracted to men with inadequate grooming, to include smelling bad, having bad breath, unkempt fingernails and wearing wrinkled clothing.


4. Using lame pick-up lines
While most guys have the best intentions in mind when using pick-up lines, most women don't like them and the only things you can be assured of using these bad one-offs is making a bad first impression, a slap in the face and a drink on your shirt.


5. Giving insincere compliments
Women love compliments; however, those who have had enough experience with men trying to pick them up can spot insincerity quickly. If you make too many or too big a compliment, most women won't believe you and will wonder what your hidden agenda is.


6. Talking about your ex
Your first conversation on a date with a new woman should be fun and intriguing, not consumed with emotional baggage and especially not discussions about your ex. Women view men that can't stop talking about their ex non-stop as having unresolved frustrations and pent-up bitterness.


7. Being distracted by your cell phone
One of the biggest turn-offs among women is when their dates appear too distracted to pay any attention to them. When women find their dates fiddling with the mobile phone or constantly checking the watch, it either means that the man is bored or very rude. If you have taken the trouble of asking a woman out, then do have the courtesy to give her your attention.


8. Calling too often
If you want to run a woman off quickly, one of the best ways to do it is to overly call and leave her a slew of messages early in a relationship, especially when she hasn't returned any of your messages.


9. Displaying weird habits
Strange ticks, picking scabs, nail biting, mumbling, looking down, constantly licking your lips or displaying any other weird behaviors make you appear nervous and send women headed for the hills.


10. Being arrogant
Although most women love strong, confident men as previously discussed, talking too much about yourself could make you look narcissistic and lower her interest level.


Check out our other Top 10s, like the Top 10: Worst Pick Up Lines and the Top 10: Reasons Why She's Single.

5 Signs She's Using You

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship situation where you're constantly calling the girl, taking her out and being devoted, sweet and kind to her only to get games, drama and inconsistency in return? While most women want to be with a man who treats them right and is ready for commitment, there are selfish and opportunistic women who intentionally take advantage of men and relationships. Here are 5 tips on how to tell if she's just using you.

1. She doesn't keep dates with you

She repeatedly tells you how interested she is and how much she wants to see you; however, when dates are scheduled, she cancels at the last minute or something always seems to come up to prevent the two of you from meeting unless she needs something from you.There's a chance this woman doesn't enjoy your company at all and is in fact using you.

2. She doesn't return your phone calls
If the girl seldom returns your calls in a timely manner, always has a busy schedule and only calls when she wants something from you or needs a favor, it should be clear that she is using you and that you are not a priority.


3. She only hangs out with you as a last resort
A woman that desires you will create time in her busy schedule to be with you. But If she only makes plans with you at the last minute, as if nothing better came her way or when plans with her friends fizzle, you're pretty much an after thought and her last resort when she's bored.

4. She's only interested in what you can give her
A normal couple alternates in buying each other dinner and gifts; however, there are many situations where women only see men as a source of movie tickets and food or, even worse--a rent check or a down payment for a car.

Ask yourself the following questions: Are you constantly buying things for her and receiving nothing in return? Do you always pay when you go out and find yourself spending more money on her than you counted on? Does she borrow money from you but never pays you back? Does she write you off whenever you're not spending money on her? If you answered yes to these, the lady in your life is a gold digger.


5. Her future plans don't include you
If she only has short term plans about your relationship, gives no answer when you ask about what your relationship will be like three years from now and always avoids talking about meeting her friends or parents, she is more than likely using you to fill a temporary void in her life until someone better comes along.

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5 Reasons to Stay Single

While being married may provide certain benefits, choosing to stay single can keep the door open for many more options and opportunities in your life. Your male independence is something you should never surrender lightly, even if you think you've met the woman of your dreams. So, if you're not sure about taking that long walk down the aisle, here's 5 reasons to stay single.


1. More time to find the right woman
Too many guys rush into unhealthy relationships and get hitched for the wrong reasons, i.e., they've reached a certain age, all of their friends are getting married or they fall for the first woman that shows interest in them. Staying single gives you plenty of time to play the dating game, find your true soul mate (if she even exists) to pop into the picture and avoid the mistake of a lifetime: marrying the wrong woman.


2. Your late nights are all yours
For bachelors, every night is a guy's night out. While guys who are married have to constantly compromise and do what their wives want to do (whether they like it or not), the single man often has more spare time to indulge in impromptu plans that don't include chick flicks and boring book clubs.


3. More time to spend with your friends
Being single is the time to build friendships that can last a lifetime, not put your buddies on the back-burner. When you're single, you're absolutely free to hang out with your friends, party until 2 a.m., and sleep 'till noon. On the other hand, once you get married, you risk losing some of your good friends because she doesn't like them and tells you can no longer hang out with them. Even worse, you gain new friends that you never even wished to have.

4. You can focus on your career

Single men can focus more on their careers to achieve their full potential without draining the tons of energy a permanent relationship entails. Being single allows you remain free to put in extra hours, work on the spare of the moment or do whatever else you need to do to be successful while also being able to spend all the money in your paycheck however you see fit.

5. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want
When you're single, you can go anywhere you want, do anything you want, any time you want without anyone stopping you or asking you why. You can use the shower as long as you want, watch your favorite TV shows, enjoy your personal space and even go to the bathroom with the door open if you choose. You can hang on to that classic sports car, the motorcycle, the boat -- all of which seem to disappear overnight once you get married.

Best of all, you get to enjoy deafening silence when you feel like you need to be alone and not be subjected to a woman's never-ending mood swings, nagging or her blaming you for everything that she screws up in her own life.

Interested in the other side of the coin? Check out our article on The Best Reasons To Get Married.

The 5 Best Reasons To Get Married

Getting married is often the biggest event of a person’s life. It means being committed to one person for the rest of your life, and while there are plenty of good reasons not to get married, there are many good reasons FOR marriage. If you're not sure that you are ready to take that big step, these five solid reasons to get married will help you decide.


1. Marriage means more sexual fulfillment
While single guys are excited by having one-night stands and the thrill of constantly chasing different women, married men are home having sex with their wives. Married men have more sex than single men, have a better feel for their partner's bodies, have an absence of guilt, are more aware of their partner's fantasies and report a higher rate of sexual satisfaction than single counterparts who find themselves bouncing from girl to girl.


2. Marriage gives you a legal platform to start a family
While it's pretty obvious you don't need to be married to have kids, but marriage is still the the most stable and secure environment in which to start a family and keeping your bloodline going.


3. Marriage can provide more financial benefits
There are numerous financial benefits associated with marriage to include tax brеаkѕ, health insurance plans аnԁ οthеr financial benefits. In a marriage where both partners are working, it can be easier to afford the things you could never afford on your own; it means a better home, a better car, a better vacation, etc...Like it or not, society is designed to make life easier for married couples.


4. Marriage can improve your health
Research shows that men who are married engage in fewer risky behaviors, like binge drinking or dangerous hobbies and careers. Married men also eat healthier, visit the doctor more often and may have better immune systems as well, either from support or from nagging to monitor things like blood pressure, cholesterol, weight, etc….


5. Marriage gives you a higher rate of happiness
A good marriage offers a man the kind of stability and support that allows him to succeed in all other aspects of life. Many studies have shown that men are higher achieving when they are married, and having a good wife can bring out the best in you, challenge you to be the best version of yourself and help you learn the true meaning of self-sacrifice and compromise.

Think about it: How much more could you accomplish if all the drama and emotional baggage from crazy women and bad breakups was replaced by the presence of a loving and caring woman?

Interested in the other side of the coin? Check out our article on The Worst Reasons To Get Married.

Top 10: Mistakes Men Make in Bed

Even the most experienced of men may make a mistake or two in the bedroom from time to time and some end up fumbling more times than their favorite football team. It's up to you to keep things interesting and to avoid making sexual errors that irritate women, so if you steer clear of the following 10 behaviors, you will be headed toward being the kind of lover that attracts women like magnets and keeps them coming back for more.


1. Not returning sexual favors
Women often complain about men who gladly accept oral pleasuring, but never return the favor. Being a selfish lover can be an intimacy killer because one partner cannot be expected to continually please the other while not being pleasured themselves. Although you may get incredible sexual gratification from your lover's abilities, just remember that she needs some attention too.

2. Insufficient foreplay

At one time or another, we've all experienced a moment so passionate that wasting time on foreplay was unthinkable; however, getting caught up in the heat of the moment is quite different from pouncing on her out of nowhere, and cutting straight to the chase on a regular basis. The thing that makes sex incredible for a woman is anticipation and being sexually teased, and insufficient foreplay can undermine the entire act of sex. Take your time and master the art of foreplay in order to drive your woman wild.


3. Being silent and emotionless
Women want and NEED strong emotional experiences in bed. Men generally believe that remaining silent during the sex is a better option than speaking out what they desire, but if you are not talking during lovemaking and creating a strong emotional experience for her, she can't be totally fulfilled. Something as simple as a little moan, or even saying something like, "That feels so good," will encourage her.


4. Assuming she's satisfied
Concentrating solely on your own sexual gratification is likely to leave your lover feeling underwhelmed or unsatisfied once you finish. Just because you got off, that doesn't mean that she's satisfied. Remember, a good lover makes the effort to make sure his partner is satisfied before he is.


5. Lack of grooming
When you're in the throes of passion, having your beard stubble brushing back and forth across her body isn't so sexy. If there's one thing that turns women off, it's a lover whose personal hygiene isn't up to par. Keeping yourself clean and properly groomed- especially in the more intimate corners of your anatomy - is not just a matter of courtesy, it's a ticket back to the bedroom.


6. Not lasting long enough
This mistake is well known and very simple, but no list of mistakes in the bedroom would be complete without it. You need to have good penile control to ensure that you can ejaculate at an appropriate time. If you can't control yourself and end up letting go too soon, spend a lot more time on foreplay. Although it is a debatable topic, most women will be happy if you can last at least 20 minutes.


7. Ignoring her erogenous zones
Most women have more erogenous areas than simply her breasts, nipples, and genitals. Take the time to learn your lover's other “hot” zones, particularly her neck, shoulders, back, buttocks and feet. Focus on her entire body. It will turn her on more and, in turn, increase the chances of her pleasuring you back.


8. Forcing sexual fantasies
Men often commit the mistake of not respecting a woman’s comfort zone, and simply expect women to do just about everything in bed to please them. Most women have an adventurous side and are willing to try new things in bed once they trust their lover enough. But, if you ever want her to reach that point with you, the last thing you should do is impose your sexual desires and fantasies upon her too soon into the relationship. Remember--real sex is not like sex in adult films, so always try to introduce new positions and reveal fantasies slowly but surely.


9. Thinking what works for one woman works for them all
Men often make assumptions about what a woman's wants based upon what they've done with other women; however, there is a great deal of variation between what different women like in the bedroom as well as their own differing levels of experience and confidence. If you have trouble reading your girlfriend’s responses, there is no harm in asking her directly what she likes. Even if you feel that you do know what will keep her satisfied in bed, constantly giving her a variety of sexual experiences is the fastest way to a varied and fulfilling sex-life.


10. Not kissing her enough
Believe it or not, many men don't kiss the woman they're with when they're having sex -- and that's one of the biggest mistakes to avoid in bed. Women love being kissed because it makes them feel soft, sexy, beautiful and adds the romance that they crave.


Interested in the other side of the coin? Check out our article on The Top 10 Mistakes Women Make In Bed.

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7 Tips For Getting Over Your Ex

Getting over your ex is rarely a quick and easy process, and it’s often complicated by all the things that the two of you still have in common, like friends, favorite hangouts, etc.. One of the toughest parts about trying to get over an ex is that your mind will hardly let you think about anything else...especially if you really liked the girl. It’s never easy, but if you follow these 7 tips for getting over your ex, you can forget the past, focus on your future and be back in the saddle in no time.


1. Avoid the places she hangs out at
Don't go to all your old favorite places or where she hangs out at. The whole point right now is getting over her, so visiting old places where you used to go will only remind you of her, not to mention her friends might be there and could certainly make you feel unwelcome. It’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.


2. Exercise and stay active
Exercising and staying active can create a better self-image, lead to more confidence and is scientifically proven to make people happier. Getting in shape is also a good way to boost your self-esteem, improve your mood and alleviate depression, and the distraction will help keep your mind off your recent breakup. And don’t forget: The gym is also a great place to meet new women.


3. Get rid of items that remind you of her
After a break up, it's important that you get rid of all the things that remind you of your ex as soon as possible because these little reminders can keep you trapped in the clutches of heartbreak. Throw away all of the Christmas and birthday gifts she gave you, photos of the two of you and love letters that she wrote you. The sooner you get all that junk out of your home the sooner you’ll get over her emotionally.


4. Hang out with your friends
Now that you’re single, this is the perfect time to reconnect with the buddies you left behind while you were in that committed relationship with a girlfriend who was always greedy for all of your attention. Not only will it be fun, but it will also be therapeutic because interacting with your people who care about you is one of the most effective forms of therapy.

5. Avoid contacting her

This is probably the most important thing you should do when getting over an ex, and as hard is may be go to without seeing and hearing from her, you're going to need to grit your teeth and struggle through it. Even if she gave you the old line about trying to stay friends, forget it. Don't call her, email her, text her or contact her in any way. If you work or go to school with her, try to avoid her whenever possible. Furthermore, avoid people who you know would share personal details of your conversations with them with your ex.


6. Remember the bad times with her
When you find yourself missing your ex in a weak moment, one of the best tricks to help you stick to your resolve is to make a list of all the reasons she was not the one for you. Write down what happened and how it made you feel, being clear about the things you never want to feel again. Then tell yourself, "This is the reality of what it was like with her, so why would I want to go back and torture myself again with this woman?"

7. Enjoy your newfound freedom
After a breakup, don't underestimate the importance of taking the time to learn more about yourself, how to recognize bad relationship signs, how you relate to others and the problems you need to work on. A breakup can signify a new beginning, so keep yourself busy and treat your breakup as if you just got out of jail. Exercise this newfound freedom by meeting new people or doing things that your ex didn't approve of (within reason).

Stay out until three in the morning, hop on a plane to Vegas with your best friend, or just sit on your couch and watch football all day. Take pleasure in all of those things that you couldn’t do as a boyfriend. Take the opportunity after a breakup to explore new interests and activities as you begin looking forward to finding the woman of your dreams.

Top 10: Signs She's Flirting With You

When a woman is flirting with a guy, she's trying to get him to notice her and giving him an opportunity to make the first move. The problem with this female strategy is that a lot of guys are completely oblivious to it and, consequently, throw away a lot of chances to hook up. The following are 10 of the most obvious signals women emit when they want you.

Keep in mind, however, that lots of women are open and friendly to everyone, so spotting just one of these signs might not necessarily be enough to determine her interest. But if a lot of these signals are coming your way, it's a pretty safe bet that you could score a date.


1. She smiles at you
When a woman has an interest in you, her smile can hold your attention from across a crowded room and it is definitely one of the major signs she's flirting. Good looking woman have to work everyday to fend off guys they don’t like, so if she is smiling at you from across the room, this means that she wants you to talk to her. Engage in her flirting by returning the smile.


2. She plays with her hair
If she is attracted to you, she may twirl her hair in her fingers or let it cascade in front of one eye, use her fingers to brush her hair away from her face or lift her hair off the back of her neck as if she is hot while looking at you. If you say hello and she’s performing any of these behaviors, well, all signals say: Keep chatting.


3. She makes direct eye contact with you
One of the most obvious signs a woman flirting with you is when she continuously looks right at you and maintains prolonged eye contact. If the eye contact is for longer than normal duration and she scans you up and down, keeping her eyes locked on you while she talks or drinks, she’s already made up her mind that she likes what she sees.


4. She isolates herself from her friends
Women know that men might find it difficult to talk with them while they're in a group, so if she distances herself from her wall of friends and stands alone, looking at or gazing at you, then it is a sign that she is providing an avenue for you to initiate a conversation.


5. She attempts to catch your attention
If a woman glances and smiles at you while walking by you and in the process takes a longer route to get to the restroom, then it may be that she wants you to notice her. By walking past you repeatedly, out of her way, she’s giving you a sense that she wants your attention.


6. She enters your body space
When a woman enters your personal space, "accidentally" bumping into you with a glance and a smile or maneuvering to stand close to you at a club or at work, she’s inviting a response and trying to become more intimate with you. Closeness is intimacy for a woman, and the closer she allows herself to get to you, the more attracted she is to you.


7. She initiates conversation with you
If she comes over to talk to you, she wants to know what you’re all about. She will seem really into your conversation, turning her body toward you, tilting her head up at you and listening to you intently. She'll convey her interest by asking you open-ended questions, attempt to determine if you are single, dig for personal information and catalog your interests so that she can mimic your likes and dislikes in order to bond with you.

8. She draws attention to her mouth and lips
A Woman's lips can be extremely seductive and there is a tremendous amount of flirtatious energy tied up in them. Some of the most effective signs she's flirting will have her applying lip gloss or running her finger across her lip.


9. She compliments you

A woman who is flirting with you will tell you flat out that she thinks you are cute, compliment your clothes, hair or something that you mentioned in conversation. If you receive a compliment and she seems really into you, she's definitely hoping you will ask her out. If you are interested in her as well, don't forget to compliment her, otherwise she may think you are self-centered.

10. She touches you

A flirting woman will make an excuse to touch you, if only briefly. She might reach out and lightly touch your shoulder, forearm, hand or wrist during a conversation or put her hand on your knee while making a point. If she gives you any lingering touches and doesn’t immediately remove her hand, you know you've got a live one.