Thursday, May 20, 2010
Top 10: Online Dating Profile Mistakes
So you joined an online dating site, and while you got a lot of action at the beginning, you really haven’t been hearing from the types of women you’d actually like to date. What’s wrong? Is it them? Is it you? In fact, the problem may be your profile. Your online dating profile is who you are in the virtual world of online dating, so you should be very critical about what you place in it. Here are 10 mistakes to avoid making in your online dating profile.
1. Using a bad user name
Your user name says a lot about you. Either go with a user name which is significant and says something about you or one which is anonymous, such as “Jack2435”. Resist the temptation to refer to significant numbers such as your age, phone numbers, date of birth, etc in your user name as this gives away unnecessary personal information.
2. Not using a photo in your profile
This is one of the biggest reasons your profile won't get any hits and likely no messages. Women are attracted to men – how they look, first and foremost. When engaging in online dating, everything else in your profile can make for an interesting person, but you really can’t blame women for not clicking through a profile with no photo.
3. Using bad profile pictures
Your profile pictures are your match’s first impression of you, and the more interesting photos you have, the more likely a woman is to connect with one of them and feel compelled to write you or return an e-mail from you. One bad picture on your profile can ruin any attraction from a potential date, so make sure all of your photos are showing you at your best. They must be recent and preferably taken within the past year.
Make sure that you are smiling and avoid submitting pictures of you posing with your shirt off or wearing some tank-top. You also want to avoid placing photos of your dog or cat because they don't really say much about you as a person. Never submit a photo of you with your arms around your ex and by all means, avoid submitting a photo of yourself posing in a bathroom mirror holding your phone!
4. Having an incomplete profile
Online dating sites put a lot of thought into the questions they ask you to answer, and if you’re not doing your part in filling out your profile, you can’t blame female online daters for skipping over your profile. Treat the online dating profile questionnaire like a conversation with the woman of your dreams. The more complete you are, the better opportunity you have for finding an ideal match.
5. Writing your life story in your profile
Don't tell your life story. You need to leave a little mystery so that women will feel like there are still things to get to know about you even after they read your profile. If you dish out your entire life history on page one, then what's left for them to discover? Say just enough to paint a realistic picture of yourself and what you're looking for so women will get a good idea of who you are but without boring them with too much information. Be original and watch your grammar and spelling.
6. Lying about yourself
It may be very tempting to tell white lies about your age, that six-pack you’re boasting about which is really a one-pack, or your habits; but remember, women are making choices based on what you say, and will only feel let down when they meet you and discover that you were lying the whole time. If all you're after is a casual or discreet type of relationship, then say so up front. Also, don't mislead women into thinking you want a serious relationship when you don't. Being honest with your potential dates will pay off in the long run.
7. Being generic and bland
Avoid using tired lines like “I enjoy long walks in the park, dining out and being with friends.” Who doesn’t? What does this really tell a potential date about you? Nothing! Be descriptive about the things that are important to you. Be unique, descriptive and original.
8. Placing photos of your children on your profile
Women initially want to get to know you as an individual, and although in any new serious relationship the new partner must be able to get on with your children, this should not be done from day one. You also need to consider that online predators are lurking everywhere on the web and you wouldn't want to place your children at risk.
9. Being negative and self-deprecating about yourself
When creating your online dating profile, don't complain about how lonely you are, how tired you are of the club scene, how badly you've been hurt before or how you don't want any drama. Remember, being a challenge to women is a good thing, and you want a potential date to look at your profile and see a confident man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to say it. Present yourself as confident and assertive, not negative and referring to yourself as just "average."
10. Being overtly sexual
It is not necessary to mention sex or the different positions you enjoy doing unless you specifically want to attract matches who also want the same thing. If you are looking for a serious relationship, you might end up getting messages from weirdos or sex-crazed women asking you out all the time.