Monday, November 30, 2009
Openness and honesty are very important in a relationship. But as certain topics begin to creep into your conversations with your current girlfriend, remember that there are just some things that she doesn't need to know--ever! Here are 5 things your girlfriend shouldn't know about.
1. You're ex-girlfriends
Your current girlfriend shouldn't know about your ex-girlfriends and the good memories you have of them. Talking about your ex with your current girlfriend can lead to resentment and unfair comparisons.
2. Your friends' bad habits
It's a bad idea to share all the dirty little secrets about your friends, especially those you hang out with on a regular basis. Chances are she won't be cool with you grabbing drinks with your pal who always cheats on his wife? Telling her all of your friends dirty secrets will just cause her to not like them, not trust them, and will make hanging out with them an impossible task.
3. How many women you've slept with
It's one thing to brag to friends, but this isn't something to tell your current girlfriend about, and Even if your girlfriend asks you to tell her, just don't. She's not going to like any answer you give her. If you tell her "1," she's going to wonder why it's not more and think you are lying to her. If you tell her"50", she's going to think you're a jigalo. To keep the peace in your current relationship, it's best if you keep these stories in the past and also encourage her to keep some of her stories there as well.
4. Cheating in past relationships
You may have made mistakes in the past, but now you have the chance to make a clean slate. Don't let her know about past indiscretions. Remember, when you get caught cheating, a woman will think "once a cheater, always a cheater" and always be second-guessing you and accusing you of messing around even when you are completely innocent.
5. How your money is spent
When your dating, your finances are separate. So until you take that walk down the aisle, she doesn’t need to know where your extra cash goes each month or how much you spend on activities like hanging out with friends, new gadgets or weekend trips.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
1. Men want their women to be supportive
Women who understand their men do not put them down. Men want women to listen to them, treat them with respect, support them in their work and boost their confidence. How your woman represents you when you're apart is very important . If she goes out with the girls and drags you down endlessly, that's disaffection.
2. Men want their women to look great and stay in shape.
Looking great does not mean that she looks like a movie star. Sure, women wearing a size 3 tend to attract some men easier than women without that ratio, but not all men are the same. Most men know what they like and they want their women to look the very best you can for your size, type, and built--then carry it with confidence. A woman should do her best to look great, stay in shape, dress attractively, and display a confident and sexy attitude.
3. Men want consistent and hot sex.
Men get turned on by different things that a woman does and we bond through being physically connected. The act of release during sex is how we feel connected to women the most, and better intimacy it is that feeling of being connected most men seek most in a relationship. A woman that delivers in the bedroom will, more often than not, get what she wants from her man -- a dedicated lover.
A dating slump is something all single guys go through from time to time, but the main thing to remember is that the dating slump is just a temporary stage. A dating slump can be characterized as being burned out on meeting new women, not meeting enough or too many women or a feeling of disgust and frustration with the quality of women that are available to you. So what can you do when you're faced with a temporary slump?
For some people, the answer to the personal slump is to stop dating altogether, but you have to remember that being turned down is part of the dating game. Instead of sitting around having your own pity party, take advantage of the time away from dating to work on yourself a bit. Examine things like the locations that you're meeting women at, your appearance, the way you converse with women, if they send out mixed signals, etc....
If you are continually getting rejected, you need to examine your approach and figure out which traits women like so that you can enhance those traits in yourself. Then reflect on what type of woman you truly want and compare it to the type of women you've been chasing to see if they match. Then you should be able to determine whether you've just been imagining that the object of your affection was really into you when she actually wasn't.
After you've examined yourself and decided to get back out there and give dating another chance, remember that having self-confidence and enthusiasm are two of the main qualities that will make you much more attractive and approachable to women.
Just because you have intellect, sexual appeal, and a good sense of humor, it doesn't mean that you're automatically a chick magnet, especially if you do not have any confidence in yourself. If you lack self-confidence, in most cases women will walk past you. Women want men who have a passion for something, whether it be a hobby, your career, education, whatever... Single women are more attracted to men who have clear interests.
If you have been out of the loop for a while, it may not be easy to start dating again. However, with a few changes, before you know it, you’ll be cuddling up at the movies with someone awesome.
Monday, November 23, 2009
When you first start dating a woman and it's going well, you start to get comfortable with each other. But what happens when that sweet girl you were dating begins exhibiting female manipulation tricks to get her way?
Girls learn female manipulation tricks early in life, and any woman you're involved with is going to have a pretty good idea of what pushes your buttons and grabs your interest. Whether she's looking for forgiveness or a favor, you can bet that a manipulative woman will try every trick in the book to get her way to include using seduction, flattery, bribery and deception along with irrational, emotional means of persuasion.
Manipulative women who want you to go along with their requests or demands may come at you with the promise of tickets to a sporting event you've been talking about, a luxury item you've been eying, or even sexual bargaining, e.g., extra foreplay, provocative lingerie, etc... They use these methods to delve deep inside your head and persuade you to give into their demands, even to the point you'll find yourself changing your clothing, hairstyle and car according to their demands. When all else fails, manipulative women will use the oldest trick in the book-- tears. All women know that the easiest way to make a man uncomfortable is to cry because they know that if they display a few well-placed tears with some pouty sniffles and streaming eyes, most guys will do anything to make the waterworks stop.
There's a simple way to deal with these controlling women--stop letting them get away with their behaviors and start setting limits! Learn to ignore a manipulative woman when she begins one of her tantrums and remove yourself from the situation if you feel any doubt about her sincerity. Refuse to be manipulated, expose her tricks and tell her to grow up. Remember, dating should be about partnership, honesty and equality, not about a woman taking advantage of you to get what she wants.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
One of the many challenges that men face when it comes to dating is dealing with the mixed signals that a woman sends or seems to be sending. For example, one minute, she acts as if she wants to be with you. The next minute she acts as if she barely knows you. So, what’s really behind the mixed signals? The 5 tips listed below should help with how mixed signals should be taken from women:
1. Make sure you just aren't missing the point
There are many times when the signal is very clear, but you are trying to read more into it than what is really there. If a woman smiles at you, don’t assume that she's into you or that she wants you to ask her out on a date. People smile at one another all the time. Be sure you know whether it’s just her personality showing through or if there is actually a message being given.
2. Maybe she's just extremely nice
There are some women who are just extremely polite and pay lots of compliments to those around them. Some guys read this as flirting and then wonder why nothing ever came out of it. Pay attention to how she behaves around other people. She might be this polite to everyone, not just you. And maybe you are mistaking her being nice as one of the signs that she's interested in you.
3. She doesn't want a serious relationship
A woman who is interested in you might be very friendly to you at one point, touch you while talking to you and begin coming onto you pretty strong and just when you think everything is perfect, she fizzles out. What does it mean? What did you do wrong? Nothing! She was probably just not interested in a serious relationship.
4. She's confused
It’s very hard to know how to read women’s mixed signals when they are just as confused as you are. Sometimes a woman is confused about what she wants; but as a man, how long do you wait around for her to figure it out? It’s a thin line between a woman being confused and her stringing you along, so make it your business to find out early on, which is which. Your feelings will thank you in the long run.
5. Some women do it just for attention
Some women send mixed signals because they enjoy the attention they get from men when they flirt, play with her hair or do other things that make them look approachable and suggest that they might be interested in a guy, even if they are not. This gives them reassurance that they are attractive, wanted, and can get any guy if they want to.
There are many do's and don’ts that apply to all men in every romantic relationship you'll start. Stick to these 5 basic rules for men in the beginning stages of any relationship and you won't go wrong.
1. Don't seem too enthusiastic around her
If you feel yourself falling hard for a woman, remember to give her room to breathe. Don't make the mistake of bombarding her with phone calls and unexpected visits. Give her time to miss you and want to be around you more. This, too, is one of the most important timeless dating rules. You have to increase her desire for youAs a general rule, don't initiate contact more than two times in a row; let her come to you once in a while. Most women like dating a nice guy, but no one likes a stalker!
2. Compliment her, but don't place her on a pedestal
Take the time to make her feel good about herself with occasional compliments, but part of being in a lasting relationship with a woman is getting to know and accept her faults and shortcomings also. Don't get me wrong--if your lady looks beautiful, tell her, just don't begin treating her like a goddess until the relationship has matured and she has earned that kind of treatment. Overly complimenting women early in a relationship comes across as desperate and overbearing.
3. Don't rush things
A good way to run a woman off is to tell her you love her on the first date or doing things like planning a wedding the first week of dating. As silly as these things sound, guys make these mistakes all the time. Allow the relationship develop at its own pace.
4. Don't discuss other women around her
Even if it's still early in your relationship and things aren't serious just yet, you can be respectful and let her know if you're dating others, but don't go into the explicit details under no circumstances should you check out other women in front of her.
5. Don't let yourself go
It's normal to start feeling comfortable around a woman after you've been with her for a while; however, you'll should not forget about keeping yourself up. You should be able to relax around your lady, but you should avoid wearing the stained t-shirts and becoming a real slob around her and focus on maintaining the same qualities that attracted her to you in the first place.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
It's important for men to understand that when things begin to get serious, women tend to expect the two of you to become exclusive and start planning a future together. However, if you always find reasons to back away and sabotage a good relationship once your partner begins asking for a little more, it's a safe bet that you suffer from commitment-phobia and a deep fear of intimacy. Here are 5 signs that you're a commitment-phobe.
1. You're only respond to contact that is sexual
You regularly ignore texts, calls and emails from your girlfriend suggesting dinner, a movie night, or time with her family and friends, yet you quickly reply reliably and consistently to anything sexual i.e., hints towards sleeping together, dirty text messages, etc...This behavior shows women that the only thing on your mind is having fun with no-strings-attached sex.
2. You constantly flirt with other women
Constantly flirting with other women and/or constantly getting caught staring at other women when you're in a relationship is a big sign that you're not ready for a commitment. Guys like this usually have a history of infidelity.
3. You become distant for no reason
You begin spending less and less time with your girlfriend (and don't really mind the time apart) although nothing is wrong in your relationship.This might be a sign that you're drifting away due to your fear of commitment.
4. You look down on serious or married couples
You often find yourself talking badly about men who are married, or who are taking care of children. Being turned off by the idea of family is a pretty good sign that you don’t care much for a deep commitment with a woman and would rather be alone.
5. You lose interest when things get serious
You love the chase but not the capture and often use the excuse that you haven't found the right woman yet. You have a history of brief, passionate relationships that end fairly quickly and you're quick to blame the former girlfriends for the breakups.
Interested in the other side of the coin? Check out our article on the 5 Signs She's Not Ready To Commit.
You've been dating your girlfriend for a while now. She's had some pretty bad past relationships, one of which was a physically abusive one. You believe she has put it behind her, but you can still see the pain at times when she is thinking about it. How can you help her through it?
First, you have to allow her to see that you are here to support her and are in no way like her former abusive boyfriend. In order to do that, you have to first understand some of the signs of a victim in an abusive relationship. You have to realize that she has been kicked, hit, shoved, or had things thrown at her by her former boyfriend when he was angry.Most women who have been abused feel as if they have to walk on eggshells to keep a man from getting angry, are constantly apologizing and are easily frightened by a man's temper. She may also even be afraid to tell you about her worries and feelings due to ridicule and belittlement from her past lover.
You can express your concern about her past relationships and whether they may still be affecting her and ask if she wants to talk about it. If she does, you can ask her what she needs and wants from you. But if she doesn't want to talk about it (yet), respect her wishes. If you push her to do something against her wishes, you'd be violating her boundaries and you'd run the risk of being perceived as abusive yourself. Try to be aware if any way of your behaviors that you might be accidentally be doing that might be triggering her into thinking of past abuse.
The best way to help a woman with emotional baggage see that you are in no way like her past boyfriends is to make sure you're in no way like her past boyfriends--at least, not where physical and emotional abuse are concerned.
It is a widely held assumption that women are always the victims and men are always the perpetrators; however, there is a great majority of men who suffer in silence in the face of physical abuse from their women. These men feel shame, fear, and choose to ignore the abuse and live with it. Although we live in a society where the abuse of men is not a mainstream concern, abuse is abuse and if people combat it when the victim is a woman, the same compassion should be offered to men.
Although men are usually raised with the idea that hitting women is a major no-no, there are some very cruel and abusive women in relationships who feel it’s perfectly fine to slap, push, throw objects, force or slam doors and even use weapons against their man when he says or does something they don't like. These women with emotional baggage who are abusive toward men usually have unrealistic expectations. These women make unrealistic demands of men and feel like they can inflict any kind physical pain on their men without fear of repercussion due to the man's fear of criminal charges, losing his job, etc...
So what type of women are most likely to abuse their men? Women who abuse men are frequently alcoholics. Many other manipulative women that display this type of behavior suffer from certain psychological problems. At least half of all domestic abuse and violence against men is associated with women who suffer from borderline personality disorder--a diagnosis that is found almost exclusively with women. These women will typically experience repeated episodes of depression, anxiety and irritability which they attribute to a man's behavior when in fact, their mental and emotional state is the result of their own insecurities, emotional problems, trauma during childhood or even withdrawal from alcohol. These women would rather blame their men for their problems rather than take responsibility for how they live their lives and typically refuse to treatment and may even insist that the man needs treatment.
So why do we know so little of domestic violence against men? First of all, violence against men statistics are so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates. Secondly, in the minds of abusive women in relationships, a man is less likely to tell someone about suffering physical violence at the hands of his woman if he believes he’ll be thought of as weak and pathetic wuss. Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished men usually end up feeling like nobody believes them.
There needs to be more support for abused men and fathers. For those men who are unfortunate enough to be in an abusive relationship remember--there is nothing to be ashamed of in reporting abuse or asking for help and it is definitely wrong to walk away from a woman who is abusing you instead of hitting her back. Doing this is an admirable trait. Hopefully, you will soon be able to walk away, along with your children, to a better future.
Become a fan! Subscribe to Dating For Today's Man
Thursday, November 19, 2009
At some level, all men know that cheating is wrong, yet some still do it. Cheating might feel like a quick escape from relationship problems and an easy alternative to the burden of an inevitable breakup, but in reality, it is not a long-term solution and is usually a symptom of a bigger problem. Here are 5 reasons why some guys opt to shed their devotion and cheat on their women.
1. She doesn't turn you on anymore
A lot of women in long-term relationships with men become lazy and no longer concern themselves with staying as fit and attractive as they once were. You may still think that your lady is beautiful, but may simply feel that having sex with her has become boring and is not as exciting as it once was.
2. She's a nag
Cheating with another woman is a common escape from constant nagging and fighting with the girlfriend who thrives on making her man feel like crap.
3. She won't put out
Long-term relationships seem to drain the sex drive out of many women, leaving some men gasping for fulfillment. It could be that the sex has become boring, she doesn't want to try new things in bed, etc...With the need for more sex and better intimacy, some guys will start looking for it elsewhere.
4. It's challenging and exciting
Nothing lifts a man's self-esteem like discovering that other women still desire him sexually. Some men simply cannot leave behind the thrill of the chase and the conquest. It's a fact that most men can't say "no" to sex. Although guys aren't constantly approached with sexual offers, sometimes opportunities with women seemingly as sexy as superstar Halle Berry present themselves. A guy may see it as once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that may never be available again.
5. Revenge for her cheating
For many men, the only way to relieve their anger and get back at their unfaithful girlfriends is by cheating to even the score.
Ask 100 single ladies what type of man they want and they'll tell you that they want a nice guy with a sense of humor who will treat her right. But then the same women will turn around and fall all over themselves trying to date bad boys who will use and abuse them. So what is a nice supposed to do to attract women? How can you get attention like the jerks women run to so much?
The secret is to learn to take the following typical bad boy traits and actually spin them in a positive direction to make them work for you -- in other words, the following tips will show you how to use the typical bad boy traits that women love without really giving up your gentleman status and turning into a jerk.
1. Become more independent
Bad boys are extremely independent, make their own decisions and run their lives by their own rules. So begin getting involved in your own life and your own interests and make plenty of time for male stuff you enjoy. Never change who you are to please a woman. Act as if you could care less about getting women and never let them know what you're thinking.
2. Keep your confidence high
Even if you don't look like a young Brad Pitt or Shemar Moore , you can still attract lots of women simply by displaying strong male confidence. Don't be the usual insecure guy who acts weak all the time, caters to women and agrees with everything they say. Instead, be decisive, don't hesitate when talking and voice your opinion without worrying about offending others.
3. Don't be afraid to be sexual
Don't be afraid to expose your natural masculine sexuality to women. Bad Boys are all about showing their natural sexuality and women appreciate confident lovers. This doesn't mean that you should go around looking at female chests and butts all day, but you should be comfortable and confident enough about being a man to let women know you're attracted to them without being disrespectful.
4. Become more exciting
Women are turned on by guys who live exciting lives and aren't afraid to take risks and have adventures. That doesn't mean you should be leading safaris through Africa or start BASE jumping off large buildings. Instead you should have interesting stories to tell and have a few hobbies that make you stand out from other men.
5. Make women chase you
Women always want what they can't have, so make yourself busy and scarce and never allow yourself to be desperately hanging around women, hoping one of them will talk to you. Guys who are too available are boring, so learn to become a challenge to women and let them do some work to get you. Bad Boys are independent, involved in their own life and their own interests. Remember, always be a challenge and let her do work to get you.
Once you learn to utilize the 5 tips discussed in this article, you'll unlock the perfect 'bad boy' attitude and transform yourself into the guy women secretly desire.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Although there is nothing wrong with a woman who sets high standards for herself, most high maintenance women have certain traits that men should avoid by all accounts.
High maintenance women are those who need many things to be happy, namely lots of money, material goods, affection and a great deal of attention. These women put great effort into looking like a million bucks at all times and are obsessed with all aspects of their personal appearance and grooming in general.
These "girly girls" tend to be perfectionists, overachievers and self-centered. They have an almost obsessive attention to detail and enjoy lots of attention, compliments along fancy dinners at the most expensive restaurants. These women show almost all the signs of a gold digger and demand the best of all things and will let you know when she's not pleased. They will keep you on your toes, refusing any response from you other than absolute respect and demanding perfection from you also.
Although they may make you look very hot, the worst pitfall to dating high maintenance women is dealing with their vanity. Other negative traits accompany vanity, such as being overly critical of her appearance and constantly finding faults in all your best efforts. These women also have a undeserved princess mentality along with having tendencies to blow huge amounts of money (particularly your money) on things like manicures and tans in order to keep up with every new trend to impress others.
She may also take herself too seriously and not be able to withstand even the slightest teasing about her personal appearance. Most of these women feel that they are above certain tasks and are not very good partners for men wanting a stable, long term relationship.
For men who like to be challenged on a daily basis, a high maintenance woman is a good choice; however, you must realize that no matter how fine they look, most of these women do not make for good equal partners in a relationship.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Guys who maintain an active lifestyle simply make better first impressions; therefore, remaining slim and trim should be of the utmost importance to any man who wants to look more attractive to women. Instead of living on fast food and frozen dinners, expand your horizons by actively seeking new food experiences and keeping an eye on your caloric intake. Being in good shape shows women that you respect yourself and that you have discipline, motivation and ambition--traits that are very appealing in the eyes of most ladies. It will also make you feel confident, which is one of the sexiest traits a man can possess and is a big part of attracting high quality women.
So hit the gym and get the kind of body women will swoon over.
Meeting someone when you’re a single parent is tough, but telling your child that you have met a new woman can be even harder. Along with your child’s fear of being replaced, you’ll also have to deal with his/her fear of potentially having an evil stepmother.
Such fears are, from an adult’s perspective, unfounded, but to your child, they are completely legitimate and need to be addressed. So, how do you tell your child that you’ve met someone? Here are some suggestions.
When it comes to single parents and dating, the best thing is to be honest with your children upfront. Being a single father, the best time to tell them that you have met a new woman would ideally be after sufficient time has passed and you feel that they’ve completely adjusted to you not being with their mother.
During the conversation, ask your child how he/she feels about you dating as a single dad and the fact you’ve met a new woman. Telling your child how you actually met your new woman and some of her characteristics upfront will prepare your child and make it emotionally easier for the time when they do meet the new woman in your life.
Once you have their blessing, remember--the most important step for a single father dating again is to remind your child that he/she is, and will always be, the most important person in your life and that no woman is going to come into your life and take you away from them. Give them that respect and chances are they will be happy for you.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
When choosing a woman to love, finding a strong single woman that you are compatible with and who really cares about you should be your first priority, not race. Probably the best reason for dating outside your race is attraction. Some of the benefits of interracial dating include learning about another culture or religion first hand, giving you the chance to get to know someone different from yourself, definitely increasing your dating pool, allowing you to become stronger in what you believe and gives you the opportunity to set aside preconceived notions about race, religion and color.
A couple embarking on an interracial partnership must also prepare themselves for the challenges that couples of the same race don't have, i.e., cultural differences, family issues, curious stares and racist comments, having people within your community not accepting your relationship, being stared at, people shaking their heads as you walk by or enter a restaurant or your partner not being acknowledged at functions or get togethers. Even with these challenges, a strong-minded couple that works hard-enough and focuses on each other can be very successful.
Before starting a relationship with someone from a different race, color or ethnicity, carefully consider the pros and cons of interracial dating, but remember that when meeting new women, love doesn’t have any particular color and can be found anywhere with anyone.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
One of the hardest things for any man is letting go of a relationship that’s not meant to be. Men in bad relationships are often attached to the illusion that this particular woman is “the One” for us, and that if we don’t have him or her, we’ll never find somebody new or no other woman will ever want us.
Many men remain in disappointing, hurtful relationships for months, even years with the false beliefs that "all women act like this"or "this is as good as it's going to get." If you ever expect to have real happiness and experience true love, you first have to learn to love yourself, stop expecting other people to give you the love and acceptance you deserve and let go of unhealthy attachments to bad women and bad situations. Wasting precious time with the wrong woman will only leave you bitter, and that bitterness will poison relationships with your family, children and any potential relationships you may have with actual good women in the future.
It is not selfish to meet your own needs--in fact, when you finally build up the courage to let go of painful relationships with the manipulative women, you will begin to feel freedom and contentment and begin taking better care of yourself. Having an optimistic outlook, positive attitude and belief that the best is yet to come can help you bounce back from the worst of relationships.
If you just got out of a relationship but are harboring a lot of resentment against your ex or against women in general, NOW is not the time to start dating again! If you're in this situation you first have to examine what patterns you keep repeating in your relationships and why you have tendencies to be with life sucking women with a ton of emotional baggage who mean you no good. Learn to identify your patterns, and the unhealthy beliefs that are causing them.
Don't beat yourself up over all the time you “wasted” with the wrong woman and realize that it didn't work because it was not meant to be. Learning from the bad experiences and moving on from a relationship will allow you to progress to the next level in your new relationships as you find the right woman. Remember, you have to lighten your load and heal your pain before you can begin meeting new women.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Any woman you choose to date as a single father will impact your child in some way, so when you make the jump back into the dating scene as a single father, you have to carefully consider the qualities to look for in the woman who may one day be part of your child’s life.
Any woman that wants to be a part of your life has to understand that when you are an active single father, your kids have to be your priority. When dating as a single dad, the best woman for you has to have the ability to be a sufficient female role model for your children. She should also be fun to be with, flexible and child-friendly. Remember, you are looking for a woman who is caring and treats your kids with a lot of love, so finding out early on how a woman feels about kids will help you weed out the ones who have very little interest and/ or dislike children altogether.
The woman you're dating should be patient and understand that as a single dad, you always have to be prepared for the unexpected regardless of your child’s age, like those nights when you'll have to cancel that intimate date and rush your little one to the emergency room. A good woman will automatically understand that you have enough love in you to share with her as well. If she isn't flexible and throws tantrums when your kids dare to take your time away from her, you should stop seeing her.
Juggling between drama-queen girlfriends and your kids just does not work out. As stated earlier, any woman you choose to date as a single father will impact your child in some way, so trust your instincts and avoid any woman who gives you any wrong vibes. Chances are if your gut says no, this woman probably isn’t right for you or your children.